So, just a few days after starting my blog, we had our first catastrophe. I’d just been feeling smug about how she is going to turn one next month and we’ve had no illnesses or accidents. That’ll teach me. Because little baby Freya had her first fall. And it’s been ever so slightly traumatic (as in totally and utterly and completely traumatic). In fact I’ve felt guilt-ridden about it ever since. It was Friday morning and I was getting ready to leave the house. I’d left Freya sitting with her toys in the front room, and I pulled the door to and then closed the front door behind me as I carried her pram and entourage of nappy bag, toys, snacks etc down the front steps outside. Then I heard a bang and my heart sank as I realised the front door must have swung back open and there was my little ten month old at the top of the stairs. At lightning speed she started crawling down them and, before I could get to her, suddenly she was falling. It’s a moment I’ve been re-living ever since.
In a blur I gathered her up and instantly saw an egg-shaped lump appearing on her forehead as she started to cry. With my heart in my throat I called Marko’s dad to drive us to the hospital. By the time we got to Accident and Emergency, she was smiling at her teddy, and by the time she saw the toys on the children’s ward I’m pretty sure her fall was far behind her! We were seen straight away, but as I explained what happened I felt so filled with shame. Luckily the nurses were brilliant and reassured me that incidents like these do happen and she wasn’t showing any signs of concussion. After two hours of observation, and a thorough check by the doctor, we were told to take her home for cuddles and Calpol. But I knew as we walked out of the hospital that although Freya seemed to be recovering pretty quicky, it was going to take me a hell of a lot longer.
Now, three days and three sleepless nights later, she’s happily pushing her walker and she’s full of beans, but I’m still re-living it. I just can’t stop going over my actions that morning, and how lucky we are. But, even more so, I can’t help but feel like I failed her, and caused her pain, which is almost too much to bear. I want to wrap her up in cotton wool and never let anything bad happen to her ever again! The thing is that every time I tell people about what happened, they don’t seem shocked or surprised but instead tell me about their own parental scenarios. I keep being told this is the first of many mishaps and that I am about to begin a whole childhood of whoopsy daisys. Perhaps it’s time I bought a First Aid pack…
So, what have I taken away from our first major accident? There is nothing worse in the world than seeing your baby in pain, but there is no better way to learn a lesson for the future. Marko and I are now busy making sure our little baby is as safe as possible and that means a trip to Mothercare for a safety pen which turns into a gate and a room divider too. We’d already invested in socket covers and cupboard catches, so now our newly mobile baby can’t get into any more scrapes. We hope.